I am back! Sorry its been a year since my last post. :-/ Oopsies. Please forgive me. ;-)
So a fabulous *sorority sister* really wanted me to start posting my crazy stories (because I have a lot of them) and reminded me that I was gonna try to keep up with this blog thing, so I should. Lucky (for you, not me, I am currently losing precious sleep) I was awakened at my layover hotel thanks to mister asshole next door. I'll get to that story in a minute. We are gonna make this short, sweet, and to the point. Be prepared.
Today I had one leg (aka 1 flight segment). JFK to LAX.
Luckily, I got to work up front with the celebrities. (Just kidding, we only had ONE today!) But as I was picking up trash, I ran into a Jewish man (window seat) and his wife (middle seat). The convo that followed was entertaining enough for me to share it during our "galley talk" when I returned up front.
Setting: Aircraft left. Window seat. Some 30.000ft and approaching LAX.
Characters: Jewish Man, His Wife, Me, and Man in the Aisle Seat the Row Behind Them
.Scene.
Wife: (directed to me) Excuse me, can you see those mountains outside?
Me: (leaning over to look out) Oh yes, those are very pretty.
Wife: You see the mountains?
Me: Yes, thank you for showing me. Wow.
Jewish Man: They are at 30.000ft how is that possible? 30.000ft! (blabber)
Wife: (directed to husband) Shh! shut up!
Me: ::cricket chirp::
Wife: So you see those mountains?
Me: (seriously??! i thought i answered this question already) Yes.
Wife: (back to husband) See?! She can see them! They are there!
Wife: (back to me) He believes that those aren't really moutains becuase they cant be 30.000ft in the air. He thinks they are clouds in the shape of mountains.
(Seriously people, i cant even make this type of crap up!)
Jewish Man: But they are 30.000ft tall! (starts freaking out)
Me: Sir, those mountains can not be 30.000ft tall because we are above them and we are at 30.000ft.
Jewish man: Well then how tall can they be? Thats not right...
Me: Sir, I would be more than happy to ask the pilots about how tall those mountains are. they probably know.
Man In the Aisle Seat Behind them: Those mountains are about 11.000ft.
Me: Thank you. (back to Jewish man) Those mountains are about 11.000ft. We are at 30.000ft.
Wife: Thank you so much, he is just acting crazy! (she was rolling her eyes and annoyed with him the whole time)
Man In the Aisle Seat Behind them: Well I would hope that we arent on the same level as the mountains! that wouldnt be good!
::I walk away, and back up front to the galley to hide. While avoiding eye contact with the rest of the cabin::
Seriously, that is just one conversation out of the millions I had on my 5hr 28min flight from JFK to LAX. Imagine what a 4 leg day is like! bahaha!
So one more story because I am tired and its the whole reason of why I am awake and not getting rest on my layover. (not just due to the sexy man laying next to me...jk!) ;-)
This story is going to be even more to the point. I am le tired.
Setting: Hotel room at short layover hotel right next to LAX. Its a beautifully renovated Sheraton. Got a fancy room on the 8th floor with a door that connects to the room next door.
Characters: Me, Ass Next Door, Hotel Lady, Security!
.Scene.
I am just on the brink of sleepy town USA when I smell smoke. Yuck! The stench is getting worse so I call downstairs because i am pretty sure this is a nonsmoking hotel. Speak to Hotel Lady who sincerely apologizes and says they are sending up someone to check. I watch through peephole. Mom and daughter pass by and complain of a smoke smell. I lean down to the connecting door and smell the stench blowing into my room. Ass Next Door is smoking!!! UUUGHHH. Call downstairs and talk to the super sweet Hotel Lady and tell her its coming from my room next door. She apologizes even more (they are super nice here!) and says she is sending up security to deal with it. (Kick that asshole out! whoooo!) Security comes up (suits, ear pieces and all!) and knocks on the Ass Next Doors door. He answers, but before he lets security in his room what do i smell??? COLOGNE!! umm thats not gonna cover it up you idiot! Yada yada yada, he is told he will be charged a 200$ cleaning fine and told where to go around the hotel to smoke. I WIN! ( well i would have liked to have him thrown out on the curb, but ill take it.) Security then calls my room telling me all about the situation and that they will come up to spray the hallway. They ask if i would like my room sprayed as well. :-) (told you they were super nice!)
and thats my layover story. im tired. sorry if this wasnt the best post. hopefully i will try again soon. lol. yeahh...
In the meantime...cross your fingers and pray with me that I dont smell like a hooker at work tomm! :-)
Goodnight from the West Coast,
B
